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Chapter One
Inception.
February 3, 2014
Black Sea Fleet, Crimea, Ukraine
The world has been in turmoil since the Second Korean Conflict and the
War of Chinese Aggression. NATO has reluctantly stepped forward, proving themselves to be
quite inadequate against the Chinese horde. The only force that seemed to match the Chinese
was indeed the Russian Military, whom modernized after 2007. After 2 years of war, the
People's Republic of China existed no more, set up as an Administrative District of the Russian
Federation. Russia's Navy was large at this point, but was weakened with the conflict with
China. Russia, requiring a better navy, went to the United Shipbuilding Corporation, asking
for a new line of Battlecruisers, Destroyers, Frigates, and Missile cruisers. The USC agreed,
providing Russia with a new line of ships, all modified versions of pre-existing classes. One
such ship, the Shchevchenko, is the focus of this story as it was later re-named the "Varyag" after
the great cruiser of the Imperial Russian Navy.
Snow drifted down onto the city of Sevastopol, covering everything in a fresh blanket
of pure white powder. Children frolic throughout the streets, families wander throughout the city.
At the front of a cafe, a naval officer leans against the facade, clad in black dress with overcoat. He wonders
about what his orders will be and what he will do. He reaches in and pulls out his identification card
and stares at it.
"...Dmitri Feodorovich Karashov"
"Lieutenant"
"Black Sea Fleet..."
A car pulls up to the curb and the back window rolls down. A man looks up from the window
to Karashov.
"What's the matter, Dima? You okay?" says the man. Karashov drops his card in slight surprise.
He leans down and picks it up, brushing snow off of it.
"Yes, sir. I'm fine." Karashov says with a sigh, his breath creating a whirl of vapor.
"Dima, hop in. I want to tell you a few things, also so you can avoid some shitty public
transportation." says the man.
"Yes sir." he opens the door and gets into the car. The man in the car is Karashov's
senior officer, Captain 3-Grade Konstantin Sergeievich Petrov. They both exchange handshakes and
put their hands into spots where they warm up the quickest. The car starts to move.
"Dima, I hope you got the message we are being transferred from the Potemkin to a new ship
being built here in Sevastopol, did you?" Petrov asks him.
"No, not at all, sir. Is it a new ship?"
"Well, yes and no. It's a heavily modified version of a Kara-class Cruiser, it's being called
the Shchevchenko, after the Ukrainian poet. I believe they named it that to get on the good side of the
Ukrainians."
"I see. So when will we it become active?" Karashov replies.
"Well, from what St. Petersburg is telling us, within the week." Karashov looks at Petrov with a hint
of surprisement. Karashov looks down at his hands, wondering what he will do about this entire scenario. For
the first 5 months aboard his now-previous ship, the Kuban, he'd worked his way to become a respectable officer
to the crew on the ship in ways that a fraternity operates. He'd finally gained the respect of the men and became
one of them. He was assigned to be the Supply Officer onboard the Kuban, and did so well for the past 2 years.
"So what about the rest of us on the Kuban? Will they go too?" Karashov asks.
"Well, I know I'm going, but from what I've heard, they're taking about 15 or 20 men from the Kuban to put on
the Shchevchenko." Karashov looks left.
"What about the rest of 'Great Eight'?"
"Don't worry, Dima. The roster says that they're coming." Petrov replies with a smile. Karashov lets out a small sigh,
smiling. The 'Great Eight' was a term coined by the crew of the Kuban after 8 of their own crewmembers distinguished themselves in
the line of fire in the Battle of the Dalian Coast. 16 PLA Navy ships attack the Russian blockade flotilla force of 7 ships. The
Kuban led the charge, with efforts led by a group of 8 men holding strategical positions on the Kuban. Karashov held the temporary spot
of Weapons Officer, coordinating with Weapons Crewmen and Communications of the other ships. The commander of the Kuban was killed in a missile impact,
and some of the other command crew abandoned ship. The 8 men took command, Karashov let the rest of the ships know to hold fire and to "re-enact
that battle in Colonial New York". The Russian and Chinese ships finally were within 6km of each other, the Russian ships being endlessly attacked,
while the Chinese remained virtually unscathed. Karashov gave the flotilla the command to open fire, missile tubes on all ships in the flotilla shot open
and missiles streaking through the sky. The missiles impacted the Chinese ships before they had time to react, sinking 13 and damaging the rest. The
'Great Eight' were offered the Hero of the Russian Federation, but the leader of the group, Captain Ivan Andrevich Greshov, declined.
Instead, Captain Greshov asked they be awarded St. George's Cross 2nd Classes for their service.
The car approached the gates of the Russian Black Sea Fleet complex. The driver shows the guard all of their military IDs and are waved through.
Petrov points out the window to a ship in drydock.
"See Dima? That's our new ship." Petrov smiles. Dima presses his face against the glass, staring outside at the behemoth ship.
"That's our new home... where we will live, fight, and possibly... die." Karashov thinks to himself, shutting his eyes and lying back into the seat. "Our new home..."
Inception.
February 3, 2014
Black Sea Fleet, Crimea, Ukraine
The world has been in turmoil since the Second Korean Conflict and the
War of Chinese Aggression. NATO has reluctantly stepped forward, proving themselves to be
quite inadequate against the Chinese horde. The only force that seemed to match the Chinese
was indeed the Russian Military, whom modernized after 2007. After 2 years of war, the
People's Republic of China existed no more, set up as an Administrative District of the Russian
Federation. Russia's Navy was large at this point, but was weakened with the conflict with
China. Russia, requiring a better navy, went to the United Shipbuilding Corporation, asking
for a new line of Battlecruisers, Destroyers, Frigates, and Missile cruisers. The USC agreed,
providing Russia with a new line of ships, all modified versions of pre-existing classes. One
such ship, the Shchevchenko, is the focus of this story as it was later re-named the "Varyag" after
the great cruiser of the Imperial Russian Navy.
Snow drifted down onto the city of Sevastopol, covering everything in a fresh blanket
of pure white powder. Children frolic throughout the streets, families wander throughout the city.
At the front of a cafe, a naval officer leans against the facade, clad in black dress with overcoat. He wonders
about what his orders will be and what he will do. He reaches in and pulls out his identification card
and stares at it.
"...Dmitri Feodorovich Karashov"
"Lieutenant"
"Black Sea Fleet..."
A car pulls up to the curb and the back window rolls down. A man looks up from the window
to Karashov.
"What's the matter, Dima? You okay?" says the man. Karashov drops his card in slight surprise.
He leans down and picks it up, brushing snow off of it.
"Yes, sir. I'm fine." Karashov says with a sigh, his breath creating a whirl of vapor.
"Dima, hop in. I want to tell you a few things, also so you can avoid some shitty public
transportation." says the man.
"Yes sir." he opens the door and gets into the car. The man in the car is Karashov's
senior officer, Captain 3-Grade Konstantin Sergeievich Petrov. They both exchange handshakes and
put their hands into spots where they warm up the quickest. The car starts to move.
"Dima, I hope you got the message we are being transferred from the Potemkin to a new ship
being built here in Sevastopol, did you?" Petrov asks him.
"No, not at all, sir. Is it a new ship?"
"Well, yes and no. It's a heavily modified version of a Kara-class Cruiser, it's being called
the Shchevchenko, after the Ukrainian poet. I believe they named it that to get on the good side of the
Ukrainians."
"I see. So when will we it become active?" Karashov replies.
"Well, from what St. Petersburg is telling us, within the week." Karashov looks at Petrov with a hint
of surprisement. Karashov looks down at his hands, wondering what he will do about this entire scenario. For
the first 5 months aboard his now-previous ship, the Kuban, he'd worked his way to become a respectable officer
to the crew on the ship in ways that a fraternity operates. He'd finally gained the respect of the men and became
one of them. He was assigned to be the Supply Officer onboard the Kuban, and did so well for the past 2 years.
"So what about the rest of us on the Kuban? Will they go too?" Karashov asks.
"Well, I know I'm going, but from what I've heard, they're taking about 15 or 20 men from the Kuban to put on
the Shchevchenko." Karashov looks left.
"What about the rest of 'Great Eight'?"
"Don't worry, Dima. The roster says that they're coming." Petrov replies with a smile. Karashov lets out a small sigh,
smiling. The 'Great Eight' was a term coined by the crew of the Kuban after 8 of their own crewmembers distinguished themselves in
the line of fire in the Battle of the Dalian Coast. 16 PLA Navy ships attack the Russian blockade flotilla force of 7 ships. The
Kuban led the charge, with efforts led by a group of 8 men holding strategical positions on the Kuban. Karashov held the temporary spot
of Weapons Officer, coordinating with Weapons Crewmen and Communications of the other ships. The commander of the Kuban was killed in a missile impact,
and some of the other command crew abandoned ship. The 8 men took command, Karashov let the rest of the ships know to hold fire and to "re-enact
that battle in Colonial New York". The Russian and Chinese ships finally were within 6km of each other, the Russian ships being endlessly attacked,
while the Chinese remained virtually unscathed. Karashov gave the flotilla the command to open fire, missile tubes on all ships in the flotilla shot open
and missiles streaking through the sky. The missiles impacted the Chinese ships before they had time to react, sinking 13 and damaging the rest. The
'Great Eight' were offered the Hero of the Russian Federation, but the leader of the group, Captain Ivan Andrevich Greshov, declined.
Instead, Captain Greshov asked they be awarded St. George's Cross 2nd Classes for their service.
The car approached the gates of the Russian Black Sea Fleet complex. The driver shows the guard all of their military IDs and are waved through.
Petrov points out the window to a ship in drydock.
"See Dima? That's our new ship." Petrov smiles. Dima presses his face against the glass, staring outside at the behemoth ship.
"That's our new home... where we will live, fight, and possibly... die." Karashov thinks to himself, shutting his eyes and lying back into the seat. "Our new home..."
Suggested Collections
A short story I am starting to write. It's based on a playthrough of Hearts of Iron III's YAMDaM mod.
It's about a Crewman on a new Russian cruiser that is named the "Varyag" that distinguishes itself in a global war.
NOTICE: This is a work of fiction based on alternate history.
PS: Change Potemkin to Kuban
It's about a Crewman on a new Russian cruiser that is named the "Varyag" that distinguishes itself in a global war.
NOTICE: This is a work of fiction based on alternate history.
PS: Change Potemkin to Kuban
© 2014 - 2024 AskRussianArmy
Comments3
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Ok, I do not want to crush your fun or creativity, but I will say that even while this is certainly none too bad and I've written FAR worse before, it could do with some work.
To begin with, I'd like to point out that there are a few grammatical and spelling errors are around. I could point them out explicitly, but I feel like it'd take a little too long and probably not be worth it. But there's a few things like "surprisement" and the occasional shift in tense that bother me.
However, there's clear thought put into the narrative, and I think you could end up with a pretty nifty story. I'm just going to leave a few pointers here, but feel free to leave them be; this is not a genre I am familiar with, nor do I know what sort of effect you intend to set up with your use of language.
First off the bat, Karashov sighs an awful lot. It's not bad, indeed, it might even be perfect for his character. It depends on what you're setting up. If, for example, Karashov worries a lot, or tends to feel uncertain or otherwise generally dissatisfied with his lot, then it might reflect this perfectly. I just want to draw your attention to it, because it might be unintended that you make him sigh so much.
There's also the way you explain "The Great Eight" this early into the story. It might have been wiser to leave this in reserve, as it would make for a very dramatic tale for someone to tell at a later stage. Of course, this rests upon how you wish to portray the event; it's very possible that for your intents, this is the better version.
I don't know if it's your intention, but there's also a lot of what is for me at least, military jargon being thrown around. I'm very hesitant to call this a flaw of any kind; I reason it's part of the genre. It may throw off your average layman though.
There's the little introduction too. This is another point I'm not 100% sure if I want to comment on, because while it is nice to have the stage set to avoid confusion, it can also be detrimental to some of the surprise and mystery of a story where the context is not fully clear and must be pieced together. This of course depends on where your focus lies. If you're more interested in delivering an interesting setting, then of course, you should focus more of what kind of environment they are in and what has lead to this point. If you seek to tell a story about the characters, then maybe it might be wise to turn more of your focus towards that area instead.
Most of these points all depend intensely on what kind of story you're attempting to tell. Again, feel free to just totally ignore these; I'm not a gospel of writing or anything, not by any stretch of the word, these are merely a few thoughts on what you might want to consider.
To begin with, I'd like to point out that there are a few grammatical and spelling errors are around. I could point them out explicitly, but I feel like it'd take a little too long and probably not be worth it. But there's a few things like "surprisement" and the occasional shift in tense that bother me.
However, there's clear thought put into the narrative, and I think you could end up with a pretty nifty story. I'm just going to leave a few pointers here, but feel free to leave them be; this is not a genre I am familiar with, nor do I know what sort of effect you intend to set up with your use of language.
First off the bat, Karashov sighs an awful lot. It's not bad, indeed, it might even be perfect for his character. It depends on what you're setting up. If, for example, Karashov worries a lot, or tends to feel uncertain or otherwise generally dissatisfied with his lot, then it might reflect this perfectly. I just want to draw your attention to it, because it might be unintended that you make him sigh so much.
There's also the way you explain "The Great Eight" this early into the story. It might have been wiser to leave this in reserve, as it would make for a very dramatic tale for someone to tell at a later stage. Of course, this rests upon how you wish to portray the event; it's very possible that for your intents, this is the better version.
I don't know if it's your intention, but there's also a lot of what is for me at least, military jargon being thrown around. I'm very hesitant to call this a flaw of any kind; I reason it's part of the genre. It may throw off your average layman though.
There's the little introduction too. This is another point I'm not 100% sure if I want to comment on, because while it is nice to have the stage set to avoid confusion, it can also be detrimental to some of the surprise and mystery of a story where the context is not fully clear and must be pieced together. This of course depends on where your focus lies. If you're more interested in delivering an interesting setting, then of course, you should focus more of what kind of environment they are in and what has lead to this point. If you seek to tell a story about the characters, then maybe it might be wise to turn more of your focus towards that area instead.
Most of these points all depend intensely on what kind of story you're attempting to tell. Again, feel free to just totally ignore these; I'm not a gospel of writing or anything, not by any stretch of the word, these are merely a few thoughts on what you might want to consider.